Sucky

Sometimes it sucks to be an adult. I'm beginning to think I really don't have what it takes to be one. I was struggling to finish my sideline and at the same time study for the board exams, and to finish my day job as well...and, well, ma just voiced out my innermost insecurities. Shoot. Parang whatever elation I had over my accomplishment for today just went down the drain.

How can other people handle such load and stay calm and collected? Sometimes I feel stupid for trying to balance such things. At other times I feel useless because I'm not preoccupied with things. And like now, my frame of mind is, I'm wasting all this effort but in the course of doing things, I'm not making people happy. And I'm not making myself that happy either.

Does that make me selfish? How come other people seem to balance things and make other people satisfied as well?

Anyway, sorry for this post, I just need to let that out.

STARSTRUCK.

Today I received two things: an important document and a phone call.

The important document was a certified true copy of my birth certificate, one of the papers I acquired for the board exams. The phone call was from Budji Layug’s + Royal Pineda’s architecture and ID firm. 6 months after I passed my resume, I received a call.

These things took place while I was out. But upon learning that I got a call, my immediate reaction was, “WOW!” A phone call from a firm that’s well known in design. Major ego boost! I mean, its proponent was a guy who’s so iconic that his name was even included in 70’s hit song. And today, I just bought a coffee table book that featured one of its major residential house projects. Woosh.

But I am not sorry that I cannot apply to that firm. On the contrary, I just feel doubly blessed that at a time I really needed a job to continue my goal of getting a “diverse” experience – and yes, let’s face it, money, most of the offices I passed were willing to see me, and even luckier, I landed in a firm that not only has given me work, but also has granted me quality experience, has fostered my love for architecture and most importantly, has welcomed me with open arms.

Suffice to say, I'm happy where I am at the moment. But thanks for the morale booster, Sir Budji.:)

Harumph. I was supposed to study tonight about electrical systems. But once I got out my freshmen guide to UP to lend to an officemate who asked me where best to hang around and study, I got so....sentimental. Overload. I couldn't read past ammeters and amperes without thinking of all the places in UP I've had fond memories of. When I watched the sun rise with a friend. Who I kissed under the pale moonlight. Where I took horrible calculus and physics exams. Where I tried in vain to learn how to use the transit. Pigging out on taho and squidballs. The times I walked with my roommate to our classes on a bright, sunny weekday morning - as in before 7 am in the morning. Basta so many memories! One of these days I'm really going to write a full length essay about all the memories I had in UP. Basta.

Yesterday I saw one of my close friends in college, Chow, along with Joyce and Charol. We had lunch at Javaman, which was located in my favorite place in Greenbelt 4 - Powerbooks Live!:) Kakasenti! It's been almost two years since I last saw Chow. A lot of things has happened since that time, and I couldn't help but think that it just seems a short while since I last saw him. But come to think of it, no. We all had no jobs back then and we were enjoying what's left of the summer vacation.

Well, I think he grew thinner since the last time I saw him. Aside from that, nothing really much changed. He still seems like a monk in terms of social life, still has sharp wit and reed thin as ever. In fact, the only things that changed is the haircut and probably a fat account, foregoing even the smallest gimiks our other friend in Singapore (you know who you are) usually indulge in.:)

I mentioned Chow in my blog because he's probably one of the most intriguing persons I've ever met. It's quite ironic that someone who seems to be detached from all could gather such sentiments coming from me. Oh well. In a way, I look up to this person. I wish I even have half of his concentration and forceful (but quiet) personality. And wala lang, I found myself a bit sad upon returning to the office and leaving Joyce, Charol and Chow behind. Hindi na talaga mababalik ang college.:( Siguro matagal na naman kaming next magkikita na magkakasama, knowing Chow.