Earlier, I went to a wake. My lolo’s half sister recently passed away at the ripe old age of 93. I went by myself, mainly because I had an argument with my mother and thus, I didn’t get to join her yesterday.

This marks the first time I went to a relative’s wake by my lonesome, as an adult. Going there was not some obligatory thing like tagging along with some elder, visiting someone’s wake, but rather as someone who was sad over someone’s demise. Lola Vic was really a kind woman by nature, and I can even recall her words more clearly than my own grandmother’s. I also love her whole family. They are my closest relatives. My cousins – her apo – were like sisters to me.

There are moments in one’s life when you really feel the passing of time, and this was one of those moments. Of course, there’s the obvious – lola vic could be said as fortunate, since she got to live to her 90s, and see most of her grandchildren graduate from college.

But there are also those things that aren’t as obvious. For example, I was surprised to find out from one of my aunts that our ‘kid’ cousin (who’s actually 20 by now) brought along her boyfriend to the wake. I was rather surprised, because 1) like I’ve just mentioned, I’ve always viewed her to be my kid cousin 2) I didn’t realize my uncle already approved of her daughters having boyfriends. I also met my ninang at the wake. I kind of felt bad for her because her weak knee was causing her pain and thus, she couldn’t really get out of the house much.

Topic of conversations also changes. Before, it was us - the older set of kids – who got asked what course to take and what school to go to. Now, it’s those babies who we cooed over when we were adolescents who get asked what college would they be attending. Talk revolves around what kind of job does one have, or if anyone has plans of going abroad, when am I going to get married, things like that.

I’ve realized my family isn’t as cookie cutter, as ideal, or even as typical as what other families may seem to be. Hearing about their stories sometimes pain me, because they aren’t always as rosy, as happy, as one might want it to be. But overall, I can still say that I’m blessed with the kind of family that I have. I am fortunate that I can still say I care enough to be part of significant events in my family’s life, whether it be wake, birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., as well as hear about the not-so-significant ones.

I hope that Lola Vic would rest in peace. I also with the same for her husband, lolo art. My own lolo Dom and lola Sayong.