FRIDAY BLUES. It is kinda unsettling to see the days pass before your very eyes. I felt that yesterday was just my birthday, and the next thing I knew, it's already Friday. Almost a week has passed by then.
***
Let's see. How did my network grow? Well, it grew by three people. Most of the people I've talked to are still thinking about joining.
***
Design...we've settled on our housing site - the development in Alabang. (FYI: I'm currently taking up housing and urban planning for my design class, and our group's district is assigned to tackle a central business district for our housing site.) The details though, are still to be kinked out. Got a whole sem ahead of us. Work!=(
***
No one even replied to my ad about a laptop for sale! Why is that?=( Usually, my inbox gets filled with at least 10 messages (on a daily basis) from the different egroups I am in. But today...well, I only have two messages and one of them was even a message for a failure in delivery. Grumble.
***
On the whole, it has been a disappointing day.

TURNING 21. Well, nothing really exciting today, except that I decided to push all my concerns aside and enjoy myself for the moment. List all the things I want to do for today or the rest of my life. Search all the sites that I want. Write damn blogs and just about anything off my head! I've always wanted to learn more about far away places...like Malta! Tunisia. Har har, maybe even someday go there myself.

I guess now that I'm of age, I want to start by figuring out how to make my dreams a reality. Like traveling. Or opening up a business. Well, I think I could start just about anything...well, things that include only 'I' for the moment. I'm twenty one. In a just a year, I'm about to leave college, and enter the rat race. But more than that, my life wouldn't be restricted to just attending school. I could pursue architecture, or open up a business, or travel. Try my luck in different companies, and find out where I truly belong. Or marry...har har.

And to think just yesterday I was moping to a friend how I felt so unsettled lately.

But I don't feel that way anymore. I guess it's just giving ample time to oneself. Recently I have been so bogged down by responsibilities that I felt so down. But now...I feel that the possibilities are endless.

tidbits.

TRAINING. I recently joined a network marketing company, and I just came back from the training workshop, and I am still reeling from what I have learned today. The figures they posted, the goals we must set out to achieve, and the attitude we must sport...well, it will take more than one training to polish that side of me. Sigh.

NOKIA 8850. Anyone selling an 8850? One of my friends told me someone he knew was selling an 8850 for only Php 7500, and it really got me interested. My old phone conked out and I was looking for a replacement, and I really felt that having such a classy phone for that low price was such a good deal. So good a deal that I pestered Fil to give me his friend's phone number.

Alas, when I called up his friend, I found out that the person's best friend was already interested in the phone, but he'll let me know if his friend didn't buy it. Of course, that dampened my spirits. But I'm still wishing that the phone would be sold to me instead. It would make the perfect birthday gift to myself, and I really need it anyway.

TIRED. Well, I just got home from another "grueling" work day at the arc "panic" station, and honestly, I don't really see the point.
Sobrang wala kaming ginawa the whole day. We just killed time by gossiping about others, answering quizzes off Seventeen magazine, and making Sir Chun dance to the tune of 'Your Body is a Wonderland.' I may have gotten my laughs out of the whole thing, but on the whole, I would say this day almost sucks. Don't ask why.

I am worried about a lot of things.

=(

BURDEN. Sigh. The semester hasn't officially started, but I am already
experiencing the doldrums. I haven't really recovered yet from the last
semester, and up to now I feel burdened by a lot of things. For one thing,
there's my design class. It's a rather long story, but the bottomline is
there are three topic studios, and supposedly these topic studios would help me
in figuring out what's my direction in thesis, and sadly, I still don't have
any clue as to what will my thesis be.

Of course, this is a dilemma to someone who doesn't merely look at thesis
as something to pass, an academic requirement. In a way, I look at thesis as
an area of study that I would be interested to pursue later in life. And not
knowing what I want to study kinda burdens me.

***

I also feel burdened by some of the realities around me. I experience them through
my friends. Last Thursday, I slept at my former boarding house, and again I got to
meet my former housemates and learned how they were doing, and realization struck.
I left my boarding house not only because of my workload (and the fact that I couldn't
deal with chores anymore, and the going-back-and-forth-from-bhse-school-hse-Joyce's place-etc.),
but because I became too overwhelmed with the situations around me. I got acquainted
with self-supporting housemates, young moms, sorority girls, and friends deeply in loan.
Different friends, and more different lives. I loved them and all, but well...I think I suffered from
from a serious backlash. I realized that I wasn't really ready to leave the cocoon I made
for myself. All my life I've tried paving such a straight path for myself by studying well,
staying in school, and keeping away from vices and people who might tempt me into it, and
joining organizations and other worthwhile things to meet friends and do good things.
Of course, the support from home made also a big difference in my stability. And God,
all this time He has provided. And so much.

I shied away from my housemates because I felt too much for them. I felt I couldn't handle it.
In a way, the emotional baggage just got heavier. And at times, I simply couldn't relate.

It's kinda sad, but a whole lot of load has been lifted off me when the first semester started.
But recently, I have been communicating with them, and I can feel the uneasiness creeping.
Again, I feel affected by their circumstances. I feel weird in the sense that I know
I am already old enough to have friends my age who are experiencing things I consider something
only something adults experience, and yet the idea is so odd to me. Makes me wonder if I am really the
one with the problem.