Feelings.

Sad… because I feel helpless to help him.

Happy… because I saw the view at Ayala Greenfields. For a while, I thought I was in heaven.

Tired… of work. Of worrying. Of being scared of what people might think.

Worried… of not meeting the expectations of the people around me.

...Been running so long
I've nearly lost all track of time
In every direction
I couldn't see the warning signs
I must be losin' it
'Cause my mind plays tricks on me
It looked so easy
But you know looks sometimes deceive...
-- Head Over Heels, The Go go's

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

REWIND.Dug a post from three years ago.

5.22.2002
It's been a while since I last blogged in. Nothing really serious
happened over the last few days. It's just that I got caught up in
between research work and well, sleep. I just couldn't get enough
of sleep lately -- man, I really should condition myself to sleep on
time! I can't really do away with sleeping the whole day away once
school starts. Sigh, summer. This has got to be my best summer while
in college - I actually experience summer BREAK instead of summer
CLASSES!

More on the lazy summer days. Over the days I wasn't able to blog, I
managed to catch Star Wars' Episode II in the theaters. I wasn't
able to watch it on its first day, but it was okay. The theaters
weren't as crowded as I thought, and I really believed that the
movie would pack the theaters...oh well, win some, lose some.
***
Yoda rocks! That scene was just way cool! I guess it just elicited
amusement in the audience - I mean, we all know Yoda is the master
of the Jedis, but the element of disbelief was just broken with Yoda
wielding a light saber...I just had to laugh!=)

And Yoda has this way of speaking in riddles, or in verses, when all
he really does is to invert the order of prepositions and subjects
in his lines! Consider this:
"Begun, the clone wars has..."
"Until caught this killer is, our judgement she must respect...."
***
And Natalie Portman...(geez, to my guy friends - give me a break!) She
is surely my definition of 'startingly beautiful'. Natalie's
thespic abilities weren't really put to the test in this movie,
given that all she had to do was to run away with Anakin and look good (in her
case, otherworldly good) doing it. Oh well. It's too bad that
sparks didn't fly between Anakin and Padme, but at least they were
good visual eye candy to the viewers....
***
Anyway, I liked the second installment of the prequel trilogy, though I think
it's rather best that I leave further analysis of the movie to the
critics.


***

On a more serious subject, it's alarming how high temperatures are
rising these days. I read an article in the newspaper about the
author swapping stories with other journalists from Asian countries in
recent summit, and all complained how hot it is in their countries,
with some expressing fear over the imminent shortage of crops in
the dry spell. And all of those deaths in India because of the heat wave.
I realize that despite the prevailing heat, most of the people living in
the city have become so used to it that to complain about the heat
is already something of a greeting, or an ice-breaker, much like
asking about the time or some other run-of-the-mill opener.

But the ongoing heat wave is really something to worry about. On a
more personal level, I just feel like an ice cube about to melt away
in the heat of the sun. Even more unbearable is the humidity -- imagine
how'd you feel waking up everyday in the morning feeling all sweaty
and sticky? And you haven't done anything yet! Major ick.

Anyway, I feel that I should do my part in lowering these temperatures, but
how? It's so rooted in a much deeper problem that needs all of our
participation. How do you beginning cleaning up the environment when
most people are too preoccupied with other concerns?

I could think of cliche answers, but no real solutions.

Just some food for thought.

mushymush + 12:04:22 PM

Me in a nutshell.

I wish that my hair would grow long.

I wish that I have more time for myself.
I wish that I have more time for Him.
I wish that I have more time for my honey.
I wish that I’d be more confident in talking with adults, especially bosses.
I wish that I’d get a raise.
I wish that I have the superhuman ability of absorbing all the information I need in the shortest possible time.
I wish that I’d get more sleep.
I wish that I could travel far away.

I wish that I could figure out what I really want to do in life.

…How I wish.

It’s Saturday once again.

I headed for ATC after OT work to buy some stuff I needed at home and at the same time, check out stuff for our company outing. So there I was, scanning new swimsuits for the outing. My eyes roved over the two-piece suits -- actually, I had no choice, because all of them were either bikinis or tankinis. I couldn’t bring myself to wear swimsuits that have summery floral print--most of them look too overwhelming on my petite frame. So I tried out several black and white ones, with some looking very much like my usual undergarments. Yeech.

Did I mention that wearing a two-piece swimsuit is a frustration of mine? It’s right up there with wanting to be a ballerina and a singer. Hmm…I guess wearing one just appeals to my girlie side. And it looks and feels so….beachy. Beach = break = something I really need. Well, I know it’s somewhat more forgiving nowadays to be seen wearing one with flabs hanging out and all, but hey. I still have my hang-ups with regards to my body. I guess I’m a true-blue dalagang Pilipina whose only notion of a two-piece is a pair of shorts and shirt. And shucks, stretch marks and fat deposits galore! *Sigh* It’s quite funny how various exposures of flesh could have an effect on your overall appearance.

Anyway, what can I say? I’m too much of a chicken to try it out myself. There goes my manang side. I guess next time I should bring my cousin along with me.

***
I currently like Imago’s Akap. I like how the melodies of most of Imago’s songs make my mind wander far off…anyway, I guess this song reminds me of myself a few years back.

AKAP
Imago

Nagtatanong
bakit mahirap
sumabay sa agos
ng iyong mundo

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana
Ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko

Pikit mata
kong iaalay
ang buwan at araw
pati pa sapatos kong suot

Nagtatanong
simple lang naman sana
ang buhay
kung ika'y lumayo


Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka

It’s been a while since I’ve last updated…

Anyway, it’s been a hot summer (hehe, as expected.) I like to think I’m pretty much adjusting well into my new workplace, as well as with the kind of work I’m being given. I like it this way – usually, at the start of the week I grumble and beg about being given another day off, but as soon as I get into the swing of things at work, I get excited about the prospect of finishing one task after another that before I know it, the day is over. I usually have to remind myself that I should leave work at the office though. It’s getting addicting trying to lap up one job after another.

At times, it is sad to be in the office. Mainly because the college-like atmosphere I once enjoyed in my former office is gone. Most of my officemates, although only a couple of years older than I am, are married men and women who are different from the kind of happy-go-lucky, single people I used to hang out with. Aside from this, Sir JRP also entrusts me with work that in my former office, is being handled by someone who’s about twice my age. Although it’s challenging and exciting for the most part, working with adults makes work feel much more like.. work with concepts like ‘working for a living’, ‘working to feed the family’, and ‘working to keep the firm alive’ attached to it. Without meaning to, nowadays I carry myself with an adult-like demeanor, even if I really don’t look like or feel like one.

Honestly, at most times I feel inadequate, especially when I do things that are similar to what my former boss does. I think of the things he used to do, and think, I haven’t reached that level. But I just do my best to do well.

***
Of course, not all is about work. Or else I might go nuts.(Perish the thought.) For the past couple of Saturdays, I’ve been hanging around Manila. It’s really such an interesting place.:) Last, last Saturday, I was with Joyce and Ros. The following Saturday, I was with Marvin.

Picture Gallery # 1 – My date with Joyce and Ros.

We hung out at the Orchidarium in Rizal Park and Intramuros by nightfall. We three girls had dinner at a restaurant inside the Orchidarium – typical girlie fare, which was pasta, salad, and cake. Then we whiled the time away together with couples (yeah, we stuck out like a sore thumb.) at the perimeter fence of Intramuros.


There was a wedding reception the night we ate at Orchidarium. I took a picture of the newly wedded couple walking over the bridge leading to the reception. Those glistening spots are bubbles marking their entrance. Romantic huh?:)


This is my favorite shot of the night! Cool ng profile ni Joyce ‘no?:D This one’s at the perimeter fence, the fence overlooking a golf course.



Fooling around. Obviously we had nothing better to do.:P

And yeah, we ended the night at Starbucks in Salcedo Village. Yep, some things never change.:)

Picture Gallery # 2 – My date with Marvin.

If last Saturday was a night tour of the Orchidarium, this time, Marvin and I went to the Orchidarium on an afternoon. But first, Marvin accompanied me to check out some lamp posts and other stuff related to my work at Soler and T. Alonzo. Then we went to UST, Marvin’s alma mater, and then at the Orchidarium.


My honey has a penchant for taking shots of flowers and other ‘art’pics (hehe, peace hon!:) ). Well, this is me taking a picture of him taking a picture of a butterfly in the Orchidarium.


A view of the Post Office through Liwasang Bonifacio.